Emotionally sensitive people have a tendency to feel our feelings deeply and often, when others are upset we are upset, we need to help others that are in pain, sometimes we tolerate unacceptable behavior from others, we are creative, we need time to refuel, regroup, and calm, and we are aware of emotional masks that others wear. (blogs.psychcentral.com)
Being emotional has always seemed like a curse, like caring too much and being overly empathetic was just a simple recipe for disaster. I remember since I was little I always felt things with such strong emotions. The littlest things would upset me, I would try and empathize with those going through a tragedy, so much so, that I would make myself sad in return, or if a national tragedy happened I would spends days upon weeks feeling so emotional over it. I would let my emotions control my entire being, and not just sad emotions, happy emotions too. It was like I felt every thing so strongly, and for a young girl, growing up and being emotional, or crying too much, just made you weak and dramatic or over reactive.
Not only as women, put as humans, when we share our emotions and we let them out, we are automatically deemed as weak, or pathetic, or incapable of being serious. That somehow our emotions make us a ball of mush that just cry, eat, sleep, and cry some more (Now some days that’s true, but that’s usually just once a month and it’s triggered by hormones). But it’s deemed that being emotionless is more valued than being emotional, and in my opinion, to be emotionless is crap. I’ve tried being emotionless and there is not nearly as much beauty in being emotionless as there is in learning how to embrace your emotions and allow yourself to actually feel them.
Growing up I was always told “you’re so dramatic” (which I don’t deny, I’m a serious drama queen), or “you get too attached”, “put your emotions aside” or “you’re too emotional” (that one was the worst). It was like, being able to empathize with others and feeling sad or getting emotional over things was unacceptable. So as I grew older and puberty hit and my emotions REALLY went haywire, I tried to suppress them. I somehow tricked my mind into not feeling anything, not getting emotional, not letting it show, and not empathizing with others. That way I could never get hurt, I could never get picked on for being over emotional, and I could never feel pain. It worked for a while, I became cold hearted and emotionless, I didn’t worry about empathizing with others, I didn’t try and connect emotionally with people, and I didn’t try to be in touch with my emotions. All because other people said I was “too emotional”, all because someone was too disconnected with their own emotions that me being connected with mine seemed like a threat to them.
I went on a cycle like this for years. I grew up being a heavier set kid, so naturally that was what people used against me, and I knew that if I let my emotions show and let those around me see that it really hurt me, that it would only make me look weaker. So I began growing my tough skin and shedding the label of “over-emotional” that I knew. As the years went on I thought that showing emotion would make me mysterious, and interesting, and untouchable. That if I didn’t show my emotions, not one could hurt me, no one could get inside my head, and no one could make fun of me for being too emotional, because HA I didn’t have any.
But the joke was on me, I despised not being able to connect with others, not being able to share what I felt, I isolated myself in fear of being made fun of, for feeling “too much”.
But as I grew and found a healthy relationship the walls I had built around my emotions slowly started to come down. I started to cry again, and I started to feel, and with allowing myself to actually feel all of these emotions, I was able to enjoy life more than before.
So with that, I write this to anyone who feels embarrassed by their emotions, or feels embarrassed because they think they feel “too much”. Being emotional and being able to connect with others through our emotions is a gift.
Yes, sometimes it can be aggravating, having our emotions get in the way, or crying randomly because sometimes we just feel so much all at once, but it means we are human and we are alive.
I strongly believe that those who are emotionally sensitive, are the ones that change the world. Although sometimes our emotions get the best of us and can lead us awry, they are what make us able to connect with others so deeply. Our emotions bring out a creativity that comes from being in touch with our emotions, and it allows us to feel joy and pain and truly understand the difference.
Being emotionally sensitive is not a curse, and it never has been. It has taken me years to realize this, and some days I’m still learning to embrace my emotions and use them to help myself and others, learning to control them and not have them control me, and learning that my emotions are mine and not for the use of others to use against me.
Being able to feel and be aware of our emotions, as strong as they may be, takes time but it is doable and once you learn how to embrace your emotions and allow yourself to feel all of them, the world becomes more vibrant than ever before.