Constant battle

I’m at a constant battle

A constant battle with myself, and the things I left define me.

It’s a constant battle that I let consume me some days.

The days that I let it consume me, every mirror I pass is a judgment and every bite that I take is calorie counted and regretted.

The things is, it’s always been a constant battle, and it’s no one’s battle but my own. I’ve been given the resources to eat healthily and to nourish my body with the things that help it grow and be powerful and beautiful, and I am given the tools to work my body for not only my physical health but my mental health. But even though I am given all these tools I still let my mind overpower my soul.

I let my mind tell me that the girl in the mirror with the curves is not good enough, that the girl in the mirror could lose a few more pounds, lose some stomach fat, and tone up her arms and then she would be prettier. I let my mind tell me that my body is not powerful and beautiful. And I let my mind take away everything this body has gone through, everything this body has endured. I let my mind hold my soul captive from the beauty I could see in myself.

The craziest thing is that God created me in His glory, He created me and my body in His image and in the way that I was made to be. So when I tear down my body and critique and criticize every curve and roll, I’m diminishing the beauty that God created me to be. I am taking away the joy and happiness and STRENGTH that this body has, and I am taking away the beauty within when I tear apart the shell of my soul.

We are all given these bodies, but it is not the bodies that change the world, it is what’s within these bodies that change history. My body will never create the words my soul yearns to tell, and this body will never stop me from loving, but it will help. This body WILL carry me throughout this life and this body WILL help me tell my story through my scars and my strengths. This body will allow me to hold loved ones, it will allow me to carry a child, it will allow me to be physically present in this life, and it will allow me to share my story. The things that this body will allow me to do, strongly outweigh the re

This body and I may not always agree, and I may pick apart every stretch mark with haste, but this body is beautiful and this body was made in the image of God and it is art, and art deserves to be cherished, even by it’s owner.

Love yourself, love your body, even when you can’t that’s when you need to love it more. I believe that’s it’s easier to point out our flaws rather than celebrate our victories. So celebrate the flesh you live in, celebrate the life that you have, and more importantly celebrate the body that holds your soul, the body that will help change the world.

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